Finding motivation after breast cancer: for when you just can't be bothered!

The sofa can be so appealing!

How to Regain Your Motivation When Breast Cancer Treatment Leaves You Drained

Let’s talk about motivation. Or, more accurately, the lack of it.

You might have things you want to do—move your body more, eat a bit better, be more social—but you just can’t seem to get going. You keep saying “I know I should” or “it would be good for me if…” and then you just… don’t.

And it’s so frustrating, because you do actually want to feel more like yourself again. You want to feel better. But you’re tired, and you just can’t be bothered. You mean to, but you don’t.

Sound familiar?

If this is you right now, I want to say this very clearly: you’re not alone, and you’re not doing anything wrong.

This comes up all the time in my coaching sessions: women saying they feel lazy, or like they’ve lost their drive, or that they just can’t seem to make themselves do the things they “should” be doing.

So let me stop you there. You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re recovering—from something huge. Fatigue, brain fog, menopause symptoms, aches and pains, anxiety, disrupted sleep… it’s all still there in the background (or maybe even front and centre). All of that takes a toll. All of that affects motivation.

Reality vs Expectation in Your Breast Cancer Recovery Journey

When I struggled to finish a long walk just months after chemotherapy – something I found easy before diagnosis – I remember feeling so disappointed in myself. The "shoulds" quickly appeared: I "should" be able to do this by now. I "should" be back to how I felt before cancer.

All those self-criticisms accomplished was making me reluctant to try walking again. I felt like I had failed, which deeply damaged my motivation. Now I understand why – my expectations didn't match my new reality.

Setting Realistic Expectations After Breast Cancer Treatment

Naturally, we want to return to the physical and mental health levels we enjoyed before cancer. But that's an unfair standard for someone who has been through breast cancer treatment. Our bodies and minds have changed, and recovery after breast cancer takes time and patience – qualities we don't always allow ourselves.

Taking time to understand your new reality and current capabilities leads to more realistic expectations about what you can achieve now. And it's achieving things – even small things – that helps rebuild motivation when you want to start tackling something larger. In the coaching world, we call these baby steps.

Baby Steps: The Key to Rebuilding Motivation After Cancer

Let's use socialising as an example. Before cancer, you may have been the life of the party, enjoying large gatherings filled with people. But after treatment, you might feel anxious about what people think of you, with the thought of crowds becoming overwhelming.

You might interpret this as no longer being a social person, so you decline invitations and lose motivation to go out. How can we break this down into manageable baby steps?

1. Start small: Invite one close friend over for a quiet dinner. Notice how that feels.

2. Gradually expand: Plan an outing with friends that doesn't involve intense social pressure, like seeing a movie.

3. Build confidence: Move up to dinner out or meeting a small group of people.

Each time you gently push forward and succeed, it feels like a win. And there's nothing more motivating than success!

Who doesn't love a win?

Managing Breast Cancer Fatigue to Find Your Motivation

Cancer-related fatigue, a common ongoing side effect of breast cancer treatment, can be another motivation killer. When your body and mind feel exhausted, getting up and moving seems counterintuitive – even though research shows movement actually helps with fatigue.

Sometimes your mind wants action, but your body refuses. One key to motivation in this scenario is understanding what's realistic for you right now:

• On days when you're completely wiped out, rest without guilt.

• On days when you feel capable of action, make that action so simple and small that your mind can't create excuses.

  
  

You might want to take a 20-minute walk, but if that seems overwhelming, scale back to just 5 minutes – perhaps just to the end of your street and back. Keep making it simple: leave your trainers and jacket by the door as a visual reminder.

Download free Motivation Toolkit

Finding Activities You Actually Enjoy

Even better, choose activities you genuinely enjoy. It's difficult to feel motivated for tasks you don't really want to do, even when you know you "should."

What do you actually want to do? Personally, on days when walking feels impossible, I turn on the radio and dance in my kitchen. I always feel motivated for this because it's fun!

Building Support Systems

Want to know what makes enjoyable activities even better? Sharing them! Getting support from others can be incredibly motivating for many reasons. Verbalizing what we want to achieve makes it more concrete, and sharing our plans creates accountability.

Having someone in your corner encourages you and reduces chances of giving up.

Planning for Success in Your Post-Cancer Life

"It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan." - Eleanor Roosevelt

When working on motivation, having a clear plan or intention is crucial. It's extremely difficult to feel motivated when you don't know how to proceed.

First, determine exactly what you want to achieve, then be clear about why this matters to you. Keep these reasons at the forefront of your mind, returning to them whenever motivation wavers. Understanding your "why" helps maintain focus.

Next, ask yourself the following:

1. How can I make this really specific?

2. How realistic and achievable is this? Can I scale it back if needed?

3. When do I want to achieve this by, and how will I know I've succeeded?

4. What support or resources do I need?

5. What might get in my way, and how can I get around that?

6. How will I hold myself accountable?

7. How will I reward myself when I succeed?

8. What are my first steps? Then what?

   
   

A Coaching Tool You Can Use Today

Here’s one of my favourites: the 5-minute rule.

Pick something you’ve been putting off—anything at all. Set a timer for 5 minutes. That’s it. Just do it for 5 minutes. When the timer goes off, you can stop.

Most of the time, getting started is the hardest part. And often, once you’ve started, you’ll keep going. But even if you stop after 5 minutes—that’s still a win. You showed up. You moved the needle. And that matters.

Self-Compassion in Your Breast Cancer Recovery Journey

Motivation after breast cancer can feel elusive. But it’s not gone forever.

It just needs a gentler approach now. One that takes into account everything you’ve been through, and honours where you are now.

So if you’re stuck in “I just can’t be bothered” mode—be kind to yourself. Start tiny. Lower the bar. Ask for help. And remember that you don’t have to do it all at once.

You’re already doing more than you think.

Ready for Support on Your Motivation Journey After Breast Cancer?

I'd love to hear how breast cancer affected your motivation levels. If you have tips or strategies to share, please leave them in the comments below.

Motivation is something I work on frequently with my breast cancer coaching clients. If you feel you could benefit from personalised support to explore what you want from life after breast cancer and how to achieve it, I'm here to help. Click here to see my available coaching packages.

Book a free discovery call today to see how breast cancer coaching can help you regain your spark and move forward with confidence.